two cows

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Axilla
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two cows

Post by Axilla »

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of
beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them
because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking cow.

CALIFORNIAN
You have a cow and a bull. The bull is depressed. It has spent its life
living a lie. It goes away for two weeks. It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation. You now have two cows. One makes milk; the other doesn't. You try to sell the transgender cow. Its lawyer sues you for discrimination. You lose in court. You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages. You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow. You change your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm. Jesse Jackson makes a speech in your driveway. Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to help "working cows". Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of 1/7 of your farm "for the children". Gray Davis signs a law giving your farm to Mexico. The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you groped their teats. You declare bankruptcy and shut
down all operations. The cow starves to death. The NY Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.[/b]
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Post by Plasma2002b »

lmao!


whered that come from? :)


polish corporation...... lmao
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its teh infamous life of brian gaut to teh max0r!
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Matt
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Post by Matt »

Thats pretty damn funny! I've seen something like that before but that is definately funnier!
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Post by Jon8RFC »

HAHAHA, great stuff even though I didn't understand some of them...favorite was American corporation hehehe.
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Post by fuuucckkers »

That's grand. And strangely enough, they all make sense.
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Post by insomica »

That was dang funny. CALIFORNIAN was the best one.
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Post by Master Jedi »

I liked Florida.
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Post by Matt »

Florida is definately funny :D
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Post by Master Jedi »

Taliban is funny too.
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Post by fuuucckkers »

OH! OH! OH ! I got one. How about ...

They're ALL Funny! :wink:
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Post by Master Jedi »

AXILLA
You have 2 cows. They starve to death while you flood the board with pointless posts. Their rotting corpses stink up your house. You slit one open and wear it as a Halloween costume. You get arrested for indecent exposure beause you cut off one of the udders and stuck your penis through the hole from the inside and tried to get people (guys and girls) to milk it.
Last edited by Master Jedi on Fri Oct 31, 2003 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Timelessblur »

Master Jedi wrote:AXILLA
You have 2 cows. They starve to death and die of starvation while you flood the board with pointless posts. Their rotting corpses stink up your house. You slit one open and wear it as a Halloween costume. You get arrested for indecent exposure beause you cut off one of the udders and stuck your penis through the hole from the inside and tried to get people (guys and girls) to milk it.
That the best one of them all
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Post by insomica »

Master Jedi wrote:AXILLA
You have 2 cows. They starve to death and die of starvation while you flood the board with pointless posts. Their rotting corpses stink up your house. You slit one open and wear it as a Halloween costume. You get arrested for indecent exposure beause you cut off one of the udders and stuck your penis through the hole from the inside and tried to get people (guys and girls) to milk it.
LoL
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Post by Master Jedi »

oops...i said they starve to death twice. oh well you get the point
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Post by Axilla »

Wow that was awful. You should have known I wouldn't have tried to get girls to milk it. Fucking idiot.
Michael wrote:In plain English: I am a boy.
For those AOL speakers out there: i ma b0i wat r u a/s/l ken i c ur b00bs?
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