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Tirus wrote:...This is TSN...the Tal Shiar News network.....
Federation forces throughout the region hung their heads in sadness and dismay when it was announced that a Romulan Warbird decimated Santa, Santa's sleigh, and Santa's eight flying henchdeer.
Sources within Romulan Deep Space Intelligence reported that Santa Claus was on a kamikaze mission to attack Romulus when Santa was intercepted by a single Romulan Warbird. Thanks to the quick thinking of deep cover Tal Shiar operative...code name "Rudolph"...disaster was averted and Santa and his henchdeer are no more.
Children throughout the Federation will not be receiving any Federation Capitalist presents.
Well done Romulans!
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...This is TSN...the Tal Shiar News network...with another late breaking news update...
Today it was announced that a Federation Polar slave colony located close to Earth's Northern axis was liberated by Romulan forces lead by deep cover Tal Shiar operative...code name "Rudolph". For years Santa Claus and his Federation crony Mrs. Claus had been using captured Romulans as forced labor making toys for supposedly good little Federation girls and boys.
In other news, Romulan technicians pieced together Santa's smashed sleigh after Santa's encounter with a single Romulan Warbird. Sources within the Tal Shiar report that Santa and his eight henchdeer were on a secret mission to Romulus to deliver black rock incendiary devices to each little Romulan boy and girl.
Santa's evil plan was thwarted by the quick thinking actions of our victorious Romulan forces.
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...This is TSN...the Tal Shiar News network...with late breaking news...
Romulan forces report that the freed Romulan slaves recently held by the evil Federation labor camp leader Santa are in good health and in fine spirits.
Upon debriefing it was discovered that our Romulan comrades had been attempting in vain to get the word out regarding their plight on the Federation North Pole labor camp.
Romulan slaves had been secretly planting a code on each and every toy they were forced to manufacture in the hope that one of the Federation toys would make it back to our brave Romulan forces.
In an exclusive interview with one of the former slaves this is the code our brilliant Romulan comrades devised:
M-any
A-re
D-ead...
E-viscerated
I-nvade
N-ow!
C-an't
H-old
I-ndefinitely
N-eed
A-ttack!
(Happy Holidays Everyone!)